Tips For Working Clean

In last week’s blog post I shared three generic “types” of clean comedy. If we had to generalize, clean comedy can be broken down into club clean, family friendly, and squeaky clean.

For more info on that, here’s the article you’d want to read.

In today’s blog entry, I’d like to share some tips for working clean based on my own experience as a performer and producer. I didn’t read these in ancient stone comedy tablets, and the Holy Spirit didn’t present these ideas to me in a dream…but I do feel like they’re helpful!

So without further ado, here’s just some good ideas for when you’re trying to perform clean comedy.

Stop reminding the audience what you “can’t say”

We get it, you are such an amazing comedian you can work in dirty rooms too. Audiences don’t need to hear in your joke “I’d say what they said, but I can’t because this is a clean show.”

Never in the history of clean comedy, has this statement (or ones similar to it) made a joke funnier. The less words you use, the more power you give the ones you decide to keep…and statements like “I wish i could cuss, but I can’t” or “Whoops, can’t finish that joke, but you get the idea” is taking away from the actual joke.

Clean rooms don’t want to be reminded that they’re clean rooms. In fact, if anything, it’s the opposite. (more on that towards the end of the article!)

Learn to tell your jokes in a “Clean form” or just don’t tell the joke

Lots of comedians will say they don’t want to work clean because it’s “dumb” but if they’re being honest with themselves, they don’t want to work clean because they don’t know how to make their jokes funny without cursing or being crass…I’m not judging, but let’s call a spade a spade.

Clean comedy IS harder because you are setting limitations on your routine, and you are coloring in the lines.

Part of the fun and skill of working clean is learning how to tell your “regular jokes” in a way that passes. To set up basically all my youth pastor jokes, I first have to acknowledge how weird it is when people say they USED to be a youth pastor. In a regular (non-clean) room I’ll say the statement.

“It’s weird when someone says they USED to be a youth pastor. So let me go ahead and answer the two questions you’re wondering: Yes I still believe in God, and No I didn’t do that.”

In case you missed it, the “that” I am referring to is pedophilia. I can usually say this joke in club clean rooms and family friendly rooms, but for squeaky clean church shows…remember they don’t even want a HINT of not clean.

So I’ll rephrase the line to,

“It’s weird when someone says they USED to be a youth pastor. Whenever I tell people I used to be a youth pastor, they’re always like, “What happened?”

It should be noted that this line will usually get less laughs then the original, but that’s okay. In clean shows sometimes you sacrifice “laugh potential” for clean, because the truth is…if you say certain jokes in clean rooms, they’ll for sure get 0 laughs.

Sometimes you can change a joke to make it work….The other option is a really simple one that so many comedians who try to work clean forget.

You can just…not say the joke. I’m sorry, there is just no way to make that anal beads joke clean. And that’s fine, clean rooms just are not the room for that banger!

Organize your bits so that the dirtiest jokes come last

This is actually just good “in general” comedy advice, but in every bit, you should put your dirtiest jokes last. The reason is if you start with the dirtiest joke, people aren’t going to laugh as much at your tamer material of the same topic.

I don’t understand the logic, but I’ve seen it to be true. It’s not to say that your dirtiest stuff is funnier, it’s just the shock value will get us, and then desensitize us to the rest of the jokes.

I told a student once, “You need to tell the Mac and Cheese joke before the Helen Keller one, otherwise nobody will care about the Mac and Cheese joke.”

As you are working on the clean version of your routine, it will be a little easier too to “build up” to the dirty jokes of each of your bits. That way, when you find yourself in a room where you’re working clean, you can just stop each bit before you get to the dirty jokes.

I have a lot of material about having a high voice and how that causes people to confuse my sexuality. In regular rooms, this bit absolutely ends with a punchline that is “Call me when you suck a dick, and I’ll take you on tour with me.”

Obviously, in clean rooms, I don’t go that far. It’s still a very easy bit to do though when I’m working clean, because I just drop the last couple of jokes. In your mind, you may be thinking “oh man, I’m sacrificing a big laugh” but the truth is, you’re not, and the audience will never know it.

Consider the CONTENT of Your Jokes, not just if you are cursing

Remember clean comedy isn’t just “comedy that doesn’t involve cuss words” it, at it’s core, is “Non-offensive comedy.” Of course the challenge with that is offensiveness, much like humor, is subjective….But if you do enough clean rooms, you’ll find there are some common threads to watch out for!

Don’t punch down, and by that I mean don’t make fun of people groups unless you have a seat at that table. (IE, you ARE part of the people group so people feel comfortable laughing with you, not at someone else.)

At the risk of sounding very judgmental: Clean audiences are very self conscious. Most people at the shows want to be seen as good people, that’s maybe why they came to a clean show. They won’t laugh if you are making a joke that is offensive to whoever because they don’t want the people next to them to see them laughing at the joke…or maybe they genuinely don’t find it funny…either way, if everyone is doing one out of two of those, you have a room full of people not laughing at your joke.

Stay away from sex jokes. It makes clean rooms feel uncomfortable. And, I hate that i have to say this, but I’ve learned it needs to be said….Porn jokes are in the category of sex jokes. Masturbation jokes, also sex. If it involves any body parts that people pro-create with or choose to stick things in, it’s probably a sex joke.

Classic 90’s Family Thanksgiving Dinner Rules apply: Stay away from Religion and Politics: UNLESS you have the same belief/leaning of the room. And when in doubt, just stay away from those jokes…And honestly, you probably know what the room thinks about those topics before you even hit the stage.

And all of this can be summed up in one very important thing a comedian must do…READ THE ROOM! Reading the room is a comedian’s greatest gift. This is why i strongly suggest never performing when you are high or drunk because it inhibits your ability to live in the moment and feel what the crowd is feeling…Did they steer away when you hit a topic? If you’re high, you probably won’t notice.

And if you aren’t sure about a joke for a certain room, odds are there is a booker, venue owner, host, or more experienced comedian present that you can ask.

Every Clean Room thinks they want to be a Not Clean Room

Before I go on with this tip let me give you a disclaimer…BE VERY CAREFUL WITH THIS TIP, BECAUSE IF DONE INCORRECTLY IT COULD RUIN YOUR ROUTINE.

Ok, that being said, here’s the dirty secret behind every clean audience you perform to.

Every clean audience wishes they were a not clean audience.

What I mean by that is, for whatever reason, all the clean rooms will respond well to you “pushing the envelope’ and getting “as close to the offensive line as possible” but NOT crossing it. The more suggestive, or more edgy, you get, you will get louder and more laughs…but to a point, once you cross that line you’ve lost them and they are less forgiving then not clean rooms.

The biggest challenge with this? Literally every individual in your audience has a different line of things that offend thing. And as the clean comedian, it’s your job to know how not to cross any of them.

I’ll say two things about this. First, when in doubt, don’t cross the line. Don’t get up there and TRY to be offensive, you’re job is to entertain. But just know, especially in club clean rooms and maybe even family friendly, they’ll like a little spice.

Secondly, and most important. Show yourself grace when trying to work clean. Accidents happen, and sometimes we say jokes that don’t hit, because being offended is relative. If you accidently say a joke that you learn really doesn’t work in a clean room, that’s fine…take it out of your clean bit! The world will keep spinning, and at the end of the day…we’re just telling jokes, not doing open heart surgery. The worst that happens is that person will go home, unfollow you on social media, and not come to one of your shows…I’m sure they’ll keep laughing. It’ll be fine!

Don’t work clean because you “have to”, work clean because you want to. If you like this style of comedy, if it’s authentically you, if you can fit the mold of being a clean comic (and want to) then absolutely go for it!

And if not, that’s okay too. Not every comedian is a clean comic, and there are plenty of other audiences out there waiting for your not clean jokes. Working clean is a skill you can learn, but it’s not for everyone…and that’s okay! Comedy is not about shoving yourself in a box for people’s enjoyment…it’s more about being authentically who you were made to be, and sharing your humor in the rooms that it’s meant for.

What do you think of this list of clean comedy tips? Agree? Disagree? Did I leave anything out? Do you have any other insights or suggestions? Feel free to comment below for the common good!

As always, thanks for reading this blog and I hope you have a wonderful day!