A few years ago I went to a comedy festival and heard a mental health professional speak on mental health and comedy. She had a lot of knowledge about mental health, but I feel like she didn’t really understand the perspective of a comedian. I remember thinking, as a comedian who also has a background in working with people and their mental and emotional wellbeing, I could probably run that seminar better.
Nobody has asked me to do a “Mental Health and Comedy” workshop, so writing a blogpost about it might be the closest thing I’ll get to sharing my thoughts on this topic.
If you read nothing else from me in this post, please read this:
The more you do comedy, the more you need to be aware of the impact it has on your mental health.
I visualize getting involved in standup like Alice going down the rabbit hole. When you start you see one thing on the surface, but the deeper you go the more to it you will find. In some ways, it will get better and better. For example, some of the “crap” you might have to deal with at local scenes and with open mic comics, you will not find as much when you rise in stature and are in the spaces with more professional comics. (This might sounds mean, but I promise if you keep growing in your comedy career you’ll look back and realize that I am not wrong.)
But also, there are some struggles of comedy that I hope don’t scare you away from doing it, but I think you should be aware as you “go deeper.”
Don’t believe me? Ask yourself why so many comedians struggle with mental health. Taylor Tomlinson talks about it in her act. We know Robin Williams’s story. There is definitely a connection between being a standup comedian and “bad mental health”
So here are some important considerations from my perspective, and I hope they help you too.
Have a Life Outside Of Comedy
If it seems like I type the sentence “Have a life outside of comedy” in every other blog post I want you to know it’s because i think it’s incredibly important, and also not something I am wonderful at. So I know the pitfalls of NOT having a life outside of comedy.
Your comedy act and your comedy career are very YOU focused. When I tried to work as a comedian full time I spent 8 to 10 hours a day solely focused on ME. That’s…too much.
As a comedian you’re working on your jokes, you’re reaching out to bookers constantly asking them to book you, and you’re comparing yourself to other comedians. None of these are inherently bad (Yes, to a healthy degree you SHOULD observe how you stack to others in your orbit. If they all are getting booked and you are not, you should be asking why with the hopes that you can fix that.)
That being said, have you ever noticed the longer you look into a mirror the more of your own flaws you start noticing? And then you start feeling worse about yourself. The same is true when our entire world focuses on just ourselves. That’s why it’s not ideal to only ever just stay in your house and not interact with folks. That is why community is important. There is a big world around us that has a lot of other things going on, and it turns out we are not the center of this world.
It’s healthy to remember it…but we ARE the center of our comedy world, and if you get stuck there to long it can get sad.
So, have a job. Have a family. Have friends. Have a social life that is more then hitting the open mics at the bar. Make sure when people ask you, “What’s new?” or “How are you doing?” You can answer them in a way that doesn’t revolve around your comedy life.
Here’s why: Sometimes Comedy sucks. Sometimes you have a month of little to no bookings. Sometimes you have a week where you experience a lot of rejections. The clubs said no to booking you, and all your new jokes are bombing, and some of your comedy friends are experiencing a ton of success that you aren’t….It’s nice on those weeks to be able to look at another part of your life and find joy in that, when your comedy career is pushing uphill in this moment.
Also, a friendly sidenote: If you’re currently having one of those weeks, stick around…it’ll get better! Keep pushing, you’ll have a week soon enough where you ARE getting booked, you’re killing it on stage, and everything seems worthwhile again.
Breaks in Comedy Are Okay
Before I say “Breaks are okay” let me also say it is important to regularly perform. It’s important to hit as many open mics as possible. It’s important to grow and stay sharp as a comedian. I also think it’s important, if you want to be a versatile comedian that can “kill in any room” to find the types of crowds you are uncomfortable with, and go perform to them until you are comfortable. Comics don’t like to think about it this way, but it’s important to bomb so that you can learn what not to do and how to be better.
But…all of that is hard. And it’ll take a toll on you. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that when I first started one open mic bomb ruined my whole week. Now, I usually feel better the next day. I’ve gotten used to that feeling and I’m able to move on…but that wasn’t the case when i first started.
And sometimes it’s not even about YOU bombing at an open mic. Open mics are full of a lot of sad and negative people, and usually they happen in dimly lit places. This isn’t very conducive to keeping our psyche positive. If you’re someone who struggles with depression (and let’s face it…most comedians do.) then there may be certain times that you don’t need to be in a dark room full of sad people attempting to find humor in the pig slop they observe from their own life.
Whenever you tell your jokes you are sharing a part of yourself with the audience. Even the dumbest and cheesiest joke, or the gross dick joke, in any form of expression we do there is an amount of vulnerability that comes with it. Hopefully it feels good to share that part of you with the audience, otherwise I don’t know why you are doing it.
But sometimes we’re emotionally tired and don’t have the energy to share, or potentially bomb, or even just be around lots of people, or sad people.
And that’s okay!
Comedy’s like a toxic ex girlfriend who’s always ready to get back together. She’s waiting for that “You Up?” text and you can send it whenever you’re ready to get back together. She’ll be here. So if you need to take a break, that’s okay…she’ll be waiting for you whenever you want to come back.
That’s a terrible analogy, but it’s not wrong.
So maybe a break for you means there is one of night a week where you DON’T go out and do comedy. (For me I keep this rule for open mics, if Its a book show I’ll break the rule) Instead, you could be at home writing, or sending out booking emails, or maybe creating online content.
OR if you’re really good, you could be having a life outside of comedy and hanging out with friends or family on that night doing something that has nothing to do with comedy.
Or maybe you need a longer break, you need to “quit indefinitely”. I used to try to talk friends out of quitting comedy because I knew I would miss them. But now, and I don’t mean to be mean, but I tell them “Good!” And here’s why:
Very few people who has ever quit comedy has been less happy afterward. One of two things will usually happen. Either they quit comedy and fill their creative space with something else and are happier because of it. Or they quit comedy, at some point down the road they realize they miss it, and then they come back refreshed and excited to do more comedy. The “quitting” was really just a long break, and it’s what they needed.
A third option is that they quit and are forever miserable and never bring themselves to get back into comedy which was an outlet for their creativity to help them feel like a more complete person…If you’re someone like that, please get back into comedy if you “feel the void”.
All that to say….If you need a break, take it! Comedy will be here when you’re ready.
*Try* Not To Compare Yourself to Other Comedians *Too Much*
I’m not going to lie and say “Don’t compare yourself to other comedians” because I honestly think that’s impossible. And like i wrote earlier, there is such a thing as healthy and objective comparison where you notice how others are doing and you consider if you could be doing better.
But notice I said *healthy* comparison. The minute you start taking the results of your comparison and letting it make you think you have less value as a person, then the comparison is no longer healthy and you should quit it.
Here’s what I have learned and heard other comedians say. We all have a different comedy journey. Even if you take two comedians from the same city who hit all the same mics and are considered for many of the same shows, they are on two different paths. What is true for one of us MAY be true for the other, but it also may not be.
As a comedian, some doors will be closed for you because you are not a good fit for that opportunity (or the booker doesn’t think you’re a good fit). Please keep in mind the opposite is true. The same reasons that you aren’t a good fit for one gig may be exactly the reasons you are the perfect fit for the other room.
Comedy involves a lot of self discovery, but it also involves a lot of “finding your people.” And those are the folks that need to hear your jokes! Part of the process of finding your people will involve realizing who AREN’T your people. Sorry, that’s not a very fun part of the process.
No matter what level of a comedian you are currently, whether it’s a brand new open mic-er or someone who has been doing it for years, TODAY is the perfect time to start working on not comparing yourself to other comedians.
The longer you do comedy, the smaller your group of peers will become, the better opportunities you will all be competing for, and, if left unchecked, the bigger the sting will be if you don’t get that gig. And while disappointment in not reaching a goal is natural and sometimes motivation to reach higher, if you start devaluing yourself based on other people’s successes and if you let jealousy run at the forefront of your attitude, then you are leading yourself down a really dark path in terms of mental health….So please don’t do that!
Don’t Do Comedy Alone
Lastly, when you are out and about doing comedy and meeting comedians…Make friends!
There are, what feels like, trillions of comedians out there all doing their best to find themselves, find success, and make the world better with their art, or attempts at art. And not all of them are jerks! In fact, most are pretty cool people.
I’ve met some of my favorite people through Comedy and I love the fact that many of us are still doing it.
Yes, comedians can be very competitive and not every comedian will be your favorite person BUT you can also find your support system in standup.
Last night I went out to try new jokes at 2 open mics and I’ll be honest, my new jokes didn’t do well. It’s to soon to say for sure that they aren’t funny, but it’s feeling like they definitely weren’t high on my list of “Great material”
So I performed and didn’t feel great about my set, but do you know what helped? Chatting with my comedy friends afterward who were subjected to the same material, audience, and room. We were able to make fun of how hard the room might have been, or how the jokes weren’t working. It didn’t solve my problem of “making these jokes funny” but it did make the whole situation more bearable because I was able to “commiserate about it” with friends. And as comedians, they know the process. They know that sometimes you kill on stage, and sometimes you just want to die.
Your comedy friends will understand you in ways that your other friends and maybe even family never will. And being seen and understood is fantastic for our mental health, so be sure to form those relationships as you are working on your craft!
Those are some of my ideas of how to keep up with your mental health in comedy and now I am wondering, what are yours? Feel free to share them in the comments section for the good of the group or let us know your opinions on what i wrote!
As always, thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day!
