If you’re reading this post the time it was published, it’s been a rough week! A few days ago Charlie Kirk was killed in an act of senseless violence and right now our nation (or at least everyone on my social media feeds) are divided and raging at each other. Democrats vs Republicans. Christians vs Christians. There’s a lot of hurt, there’s a lot of hate, and there’s a lot of nastiness currently going around.
I should note, by the way, that this article has nothing to do with any opinions about Charlie Kirk…I’m just letting you know, that at the time of writing, there’s a lot of hurt.
A few days ago I was chatting with a friend before a comedy show and she said, “With everything going on right now, I really don’t want to be telling jokes right now.” And I remember responding, “With everything going on right now…this is exactly the time we should be telling jokes right now.”
Humor heals. There is some truth to that statement, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Now if you’re actual sick, go see a doctor get the actual medicine, shot, or whatever. If you have cancer, please go get chemo instead of trying to laugh it off.
But laughter emits joy, and joy makes us feel better. Joy gives us the strength to keep going. And when things are bad, this is incredibly important.
I’ve seen how humor heals in several ways, internally and externally, and in this article, I’m going to share about them.
Humor Heals Personal Wounds
I wrote a previous article about how comedy is NOT therapy, but it does help with stuff. When we create jokes about our “junk” and get laughs, in a small way we are able to take power back from our personal baggage.
When personal tragedy happens and you make a joke about it, knowing that it brought someone joy will make you feel a little better. It won’t fix the issue, but it helps in a small way.
For me, when I first started comedy all my jokes were self deprecating and I followed a simple formula for joke-writing. I would take something about myself that I was self conscious about…usually something that I was bullied about for years growing up…and I’d turn those into jokes. And then as I would get regular laughs from jokes about things like my weight, my high voice, being hairy, or being born without a sense of smell…the better the routines became, the less bothered I was about all of those qualities. It felt like I was reclaiming those parts of myself, and using them to my advantage.
I love the idea that the same qualities that people used to bully me about are things I’ve made jokes about. And now, people pay me money to joke about the aspects of me that I used to be bullied about. It’s probably weird, but it feels like I took the power back.
Nowadays I also have jokes about my broken family. And about former students that passed away. Creating these jokes have helped in my own recovery process.
Humor Heals Other People’s Wounds
Sometimes dark jokes can create a safe space for someone to laugh about an issue they are dealing with.
Years ago my friend had a joke about cancer. I don’t remember it. I do remember her mentioning that before she told it on stage, she went to her hairdresser who had just been through cancer treatment and ran the joke by her. My friend was worried that the joke may come across as insensitive, but the hairdresser loved it. She related to it, and she said it also accurately shared part of her story as a cancer survivor that is hard for people to know.
A comedian’s first reaction when something bad happens is to write a joke about it. In many ways, that’s our own coping mechanism. But also, a well written joke about a tragedy can help others heal as well. I think of the phrase, “If you’re not laughing you’re crying”.
Jokes can help us choose laughter over sadness, which is often the preferred option.
And also, humor provides us an escape from tragedy and the bad things in the world. People love to leave their house, escape their problems, and come laugh and have a good time. Your routine, your jokes, and what you do as a comedian brings people to that space.
A lot of folks feel the need to write jokes about hot topic issues and the problems of the world. Good for them. Often, for me personally, I like to distract the audience from the crappiness of the world and create “Quarter Mile Moments” where “for these 15 seconds or less, the audience is free.” (To loosely quote Vin Diesel)
A good comedy show can help heal a really bad day.
Humor Can Heal Society
There is a reason that late night talk show hosts are comedians, and it’s the same reason a lot of pastors start their sermons off with jokes and funny stories.
Humor helps lower our barriers, so that the real conversation can begin.
There is a lot of crap and injustice in the world and there are 3 ways we can handle it. Forget about it, Fight it, or make fun of it.
And comics often pick the third option.
This is why political humor is a thing. Comedians will have issue with whoever is in office, or some policy, and will address it by making jokes. The best case scenario for the comedian who’s doing this kind of joke is for the audience to think, “You know that’s funny…and he’s kind of right!”
Does it work all the time? Absolutely not. But, comics in this regard hope that their dumb jokes helps slowly spin the wheel of progress. And you know what? I think overtime, it has.
It’s not my particular cup of tea, but if this is you…by all means, write those jokes and bring that change!
But here’s a word to the wise….
A Gentle Reminder about Certain Jokes…
Whenever you are telling jokes about political issues, recent tragedy, or things that have any element of controversy attached to them, here are some key points you should remember.
1. Remember EVERY JOKE needs a punchline:
There has to be a funny part to all your dark jokes, otherwise they’re just weird and mean statements. If people aren’t laughing at whatever you’re saying, then you aren’t bringing healing humor…and you might be bringing harm instead. That’s not comedy, that’s mean.
2. Know Thy Audience
Not every audience needs to hear every one of your jokes. Read that again. Some jokes that are funny for one room, will absolutely ruin another. The Bible says “There is a Time and Place for Everything” and regardless of how you feel about the Bible, this is absolutely true for comedy. I’ll go ahead and let you know as a mostly clean comedian….Most of the clean rooms out there won’t do well with your slightly dark joke about a controversial subject (I know this from personal experience)
Also, I feel like it SHOULD go without saying, but you might want to not say your killer Trump joke to a mostly republican audience. Alternatively, there might be a room that shares your view and that one joke is exactly what they need and want to hear. So you know…figure it out!
So that’s the thought for today. Laughter is a good and powerful thing. Humor can heal. When things are really rough for you, or for others, maybe that’s exactly when you need to be out there telling jokes!
And now for a Shameless Plug!
My friend and fellow comedian Paula Jane Newman published an E-Book called Pain to Punchlines: Stand-up Comedy a Transformation Superpower. In this book several comedians, including myself and some other friends, tell about how comedy has helped heal them.
If you want to, you should totally read it! (Click These Words To Go Buy The Book!)
