Comedy Is a Business of RELATIONSHIPS (Part 1)

The simple truth is, if you don’t get along with people, comedy may not be the job for you. Everything we do as standup comedians comes back to connecting with a person or people. While it’s true that many comedians are introverts or even what some would consider, anti-social, all comics learn how to connect with and work with others within their on stage, and off stage, character. It’s part of the job! Making people laugh requires connecting with them. And getting booked also requires connection.

As comedians we are essentially sales people, and what you are selling is yourself (or more specifically, your act). Any salesperson will tell you to make that sale, you have to make that human connection. It’s the same in comedy!

Personally, I believe connecting with your fans, other comedians, and all the different people you meet through comedy is one of the best and the most fun parts. Maybe that’s your opinion too…but if it’s not, and you want to be successful in comedy, you better learn to fake it!

Here are significant relationships that any working comedian needs to consider.

The Relationship Between
YOU and THE AUDIENCE

The is the most basic and perhaps brief relationship all of us comics need to consider, every time we perform. In order for your jokes to be funny to a crowd, you must connect with them. If people don’t like you, they’re not going to laugh at (or with) you. Also, if they don’t know you, they’ll be to busy trying to figure you out…and will likely not laugh as much!

Every time you perform, no matter if it’s just a 5 minute set or if it’s for an hour, you are building a relationship with your crowd, even if it’s a short term one. You want them to feel connected with you. If they relate to you as a person, they’re more likely to laugh at the point of view that you are presented. You want them to like you and be on your side. Just like a good first date, you want to leave them wanting more of you.

As you build a following, you actually want to form deeper relationship with your audiences. You want them to like you enough when they see you perform, that they choose to follow you on social media, keep up with you, and maybe come see you again. What an honor it is when someone decides to follow you or subscribe to your YouTube channel because that means that they want to consider you and your art even when you’re not in front of them…they actually want to get to know you more! And you know as well as I do, when we decide to unfollow a creative, it’s honestly just because on some kind of level we don’t relate or care about them anymore. It’s nothing personal…and that’s exactly the point!

A good relationship with the audience can lead them to wanting to buy your merch, or come to another show. It can lead to them telling their friends about you, and getting more eyes and ears on your content. Most significantly, it can open the door for your comedy (and art) to connect with them and add to their life in a significant way. Every time a piece of art (whether it’s a painting or a standup routine) resonates with someone, it’s because there is a bond that forms between the creator land the audience…and when we perform, we want this to happen to as many of our audience members as possible.

Here’s a few ideas of how to connect with your audience:

1) For starters, don’t be a jerk on stage: I know this is basic but for some reason a lot of comedians feel to be funny, one also has to be mean. That’s not the case, and often can alienate you from your people. Don’t shit on the crowd, don’t blame them if the show isn’t going well, and if you are going to roast or tease the audience, learn to do it in a way where they know you are funny and mean no harm or malicious intent. (There is 100% a method of saying mean things in a nice way. One trick I do is a big cheesy smile after the mean statement to make it painfully obvious that i am joking.)

2) Take time to talk to your fans after a show: If someone comes up to you after a show, it’s because they liked your set and want to get to know you better. This is potentially a person that will keep up with your entertainment career, share you with their friends, and come back to another show. This could become your next biggest fan! Take some time to chat with them, hear about their comedy show experience, get to know them a little. Make a meaningful moment for them that they can go home and share with their friends, because it will make you look better in their heads. If you sell merch after a show, it’s not a bad idea to hire someone or get a friend to do the “money part” of the merch selling (Taking the money and giving the merch) so that you can take time to chat with your fans and take pictures with them. It’s a lot harder to do all of that when you’re also handling the sales.

3) Mind your “off stage” character, especially on social media: It won’t matter how hilarious you are on stage if people think you’re a dick in real life, UNLESS that’s part of your appeal. (And many of you think it is, but it really is not). When you start getting a social media following and your posts are getting “out there” more, it’s natural for the first comments to find themselves on your feed to be from trolls, haters, and the scum of the internet. You might be tempted to shoot them down and shut them up but remember, other people are reading your comments too! Personally, I find it almost impossible to be hateful and liked at the same time…so I’ve learned that for me, “out-jerking the jerks” isn’t a good look. Typically the rule of thumb is when shutting mean people down online (or at a show when dealing with a heckler) is you have to wait for the rest of the audience to hate them enough that they won’t be offended by the mean thing that you say and like you less for it…on social media, it’s hard to tell if the general public has gotten to that point yet, so just be careful.

(That being said, some people are jerks and deserve whatever nasty comment they have coming, so you be you and I’ll never think less of you for how you respond to online trolls)

4) Lastly, always come from a place of GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION for your fans and people at your shows: I’ll never forget great advice I got from a comedian once. We were at a show that barely had any audience at it. I probably was grumbling and made some kind of statement like, “Jeez, I guess THIS is our audience tonight…wish there were more then 10 people.” And the comedian responded to me, “Never take it out on these people that there aren’t many people at a show…because THEY actually came! They’re your best friends tonight. They’re on our side, and came to see a good show! So let’s give it to them.” Especially when you first start as a performer, good supporters are hard to come by…so when you meet someone that is a fan of what you are doing, appreciate them and treat them like gold, because like it or not, that person, and people like them, are going to be what eventually elevates your career to the next level.

Bookers don’t care about how funny you are, they care about how many butts you can get in the seats if they book you…so people that like you, support you, and want to see your comedy are incredibly important…so give them the appreciation they deserve.

Speaking of bookers, in next week’s blog post we’ll be discussing the relationships we have with bookers and other comedians!

See you then, and have a great week!

Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or questions on this week’s blog post in the comment section! Let’s turn this monologue into a dialogue!