Whenever I teach beginner comedy classes the very first thing I will teach comedy students is that Rule #1 in comedy is to Have Fun. This is actually the first advice I ever received in standup comedy.
Almost 15 years ago, before I did my first open mic in Lexington KY, I checked out the venue a week beforehand to just see the space, and get a feel of the room. It helped me be less nervous about performing the next week. I also had a chance to meet the headlining comedian, who was Ian Bagg. He’s still doing comedy to this day and even though I don’t know him personally, aside from this one interaction, I’ll never forget what he said.
I asked him, “I’m doing comedy for the first time at an open mic next week. What advice can you give me?” And his response, “Just have fun…if you’re having fun, then the audience will have fun. And even if they aren’t having fun, F*** em, you’re still having fun!”
When I tell comics that having fun is the most important thing in comedy, it’s more then just a sentimental platitude. It’s a good strategy….if you are having fun, you will be performing better. That being said, there is so much “crap” in comedy that if you don’t enjoy it, you probably should do yourself a big favor and just stop…because for a very long time in comedy, if it’s not enjoyable for you…The cons definitely out weigh the pro’s for comedians. If it is enjoyable and fun though, you’ll find the strength to move past the other junk…it’ll even be part of the fun and challenge of it all!
Comparing Yourself To Others Is The Kryptonite To All Good Comedians
So if FUN is the number one priority of performing, the best way to extinguish it is to find yourself playing the comparison game with all the other comedians you will meet.
Why did that comic get that gig when the booker could have booked me?
Why do they have more followers then me?
Why do people like them better?
Why do their reels get more views and likes then mine?
Are they funnier? Are they better? If those people are getting all the gigs and stuff, should I even bother?
These are just some of the questions that have run through my mind, this week alone, and if you are a comedian reading this I think you have probably thought of at least one of these recently while scrolling through your favorite social media.
Don’t let comparing yourself to other comedians steal the joy of doing standup comedy. You owe it to yourself to be better then that. Here’s a truth that hopefully you know, and this is a nice reminder, but if you have never heard this….allow me to be the first to blow your mind.
The art of being funny is subjective. You aren’t for everyone, nobody is for everybody.
Comedy is art, and by nature, that means it’s beauty is in the eyes is in the eyes of the beholder.
Let’s zoom out for a second and talk about music. Music has different genres. My favorite is punk rock and my least favorite is country…I wish I wasn’t so prejudice towards one music genre, but I absolutely hate all country. I hate the southern accents in the vocals, and I hate that even the electric guitars have twang. Sorry Country, I know it’s not you and it’s me…but I also don’t think I’ll ever change.
Comedy also has different genres. Clean, Crass, Dark, Storytelling, Rant, Self Deprecating, Improv, Musical, and Props just to name a few. There is definitely something for everybody, but not everybody will like the same styles and even within the styles, some comedians just aren’t funny to you…and that’s okay!
But as comedians, our brains will tell us, “Yeah but I’m different…everyone should like my stuff, and if they don’t they either don’t know funny…or I am not good enough.”
Yeah, good luck with that. I can tell you from personal experience, you’re opening yourself up to a lot of personal demons if you go to far with that line of thinking.
When I first started and would ask many well-intentioned comics how to progress in comedy they would often give me the same, incomplete, advice. “Just be funny.”
Yeah, I never tell that to people. Funny is not an absolute concept like Math. There is someone on earth that cannot stand your favorite comedian…does that mean your favorite comedian isn’t funny because one person doesn’t like them? You may say, “Well that person must not understand comedy” Ok…what if they like your comedy but don’t like your favorite comedian? Either they don’t understand comedy or maybe we can appreciate that humor is relative, and that’s okay.
Not comparing yourself to other comedians in a toxic way might be the hardest part of doing standup. But it’s like a muscle…the more you do it, the easier it is.
Here are some tips to help you not fall into the Comparison Trap
Start Working On This As Early As Possible
The further you progress in comedy, the smaller the circle of comedians will be, and the bigger the opportunities you all will be shooting for. When you first start, you are looking at a local dive bar showcase and seeing several comics on the lineup and asking “Why am I not on this?” The show’s pretty low stakes, and there are tons of other comics in your scene.
Keep doing it for a few years and before you know it instead of a dive bar showcase, it’s a Dry Bar Special, and instead of 20-50 comics in the ring for a spot, it’s you and 5 of your closest comedy friends…and only one or two of you will be getting picked, and that’s me being generous with the odds. What happens when you don’t get picked but your friend does…if you don’t have a handle on this comparison crap by then, you could end up being a real jerk to your friend, and finding yourself in a really toxic and unhappy place.
So today, as you’re wondering about the local random smalltown show that isn’t booking you…Start learning to not let the comparison trap eat you alive, and learn to let go and move on. Learn this now before the opportunities get bigger and the hurt can be more severe.
Learn to be GENIUNELY Happy for Your Comic Friends when Good Things Happen For Them
The longer that you are in the comedy game, the more you can appreciate how hard all of this is! I heard a statistic that less then 10% of comedians actually get to a point where they can financially support themselves with comedy alone. I have no idea if it’s accurate or how folks proved it, but honestly 10% seems high to me.
Comedy is hard! And being successful in comedy is even harder. One of the best things you can do, just as an in general human, is when you see someone succeed in entertainment is say to yourself (and to them!) “Good for you!”
Did that new comic go viral and get a massive following before you did? Even though you’ve been at it for YEARS? Congratulate them on their success, and you keep working hard for your own!
Did your friend get that amazing comedy special or club opportunity that you have been wanting for a really long time? Good for them, and you keep working towards your goal.
Think about how great it feels when someone tells you good job. Now think about how you can be that person for a lot of other people. The thing is, it has to be Authentic and Genuine, comics have to deal with enough fake every day…if you genuinely don’t feel it, you don’t have to say anything…but also maybe work on yourself and become the kind of person that can celebrate other people.
Other people’s success does not mean you are failing. And when you acknowledge their fortune it won’t take away from yours.
Read that again comedians because if we all did this better the world of Comedy would be a completely different and way better place.
Remember That You Are Not The Center of the Universe
Listen, I get it. Every Comedian has serious “Main Character Energy” and nobody has it more then me. We wouldn’t have gotten to where we are if we didn’t have that.
But sometimes it’s helpful to remember that not everything is about you. Someone else’s success has nothing to do with you. That person getting that club spot has nothing to do with your work ethic, your comedy, and it’s not a personal attack to you personally…It’s because of their hard work, their funny, or even just their good fortune.
The phrase someone taught me last year was to say “That opportunity wasn’t meant for me.” whenever I see someone get something that I really wanted. This phrase helps me because it takes the focus off of me, and reminds myself that other comics are trying just as hard and working just as much as me…and you know what, even if they aren’t…good for them! It’s nice to know that good things still happen in this world to people.
As a comedian it’s important to not take everything so personally, and at the same time celebrate the wins for you as you get them and not talk yourself out of enjoying your own success. I have found that most comics are good at only one of those things, but both are equally as important.
Give Yourself A Break From Social Media When You Need It
It’s amazing how much less things bother you when you aren’t seeing it every minute as you update your newsfeed. The best way to beat the Comparison Game is to regularly put your phone down and “touch grass”. Go have a life outside of comedy….in the real world, that is with your friends and family, a lot of this comedy stuff doesn’t matter one bit. And sometimes we need to step away and refocus, so that we can come back to it with a better headspace. (Which often leads to us performing better)
As comics an online presence is vital nowadays (Which 100% sucks) so you need to be tapped in to the shitstorm known as social media. But give yourself a break when you need to! I try to give myself the weekends, where i just post about a show I am on and don’t worry about reels, checking views, or scrolling the feed and seeing what else everyone is up to.
Now for you viral comedians, I get you need to post more and it looks different…but still figure out a way to give yourself a break when you need it. If God took a day off when He created everything, you can take some time away from the internet to regroup.
As comedians it’s also very important to have a life outside of comedy. That way when you need to take a break from focusing on all the stress of comedy, you will have something equally as important to balance yourself with.
But here’s the thing…
Comparing yourself to others constantly in comedy to a point where you feel less then as a human and that you have little to no value is 100% terrible and not okay.
HOWEVER
Objectivity and growing from watching others can be a very good thing in all aspects of life, including standup comedy.
Thinking you’re less then because you aren’t getting booked and that other comedian is, that’s a problem. Seeing what that comedian is doing that you aren’t, and becoming better…that’s a good thing.
Maybe you COULD be funnier…and the way you figure that out is noticing that everyone else is getting a lot more laughs.
Maybe you COULD be a better hang and grow in your networking abilities…and if you figure that out by watching other comedians do it, then that’s a good thing.
Maybe you COULD have a better social media presence, or funnier/better made reels, or whatever online and the way you notice this is by watching other comedians who are growing a following a lot faster, in which case, good for you for being objective and upping your game.
Comparing and contrasting what your doing to others is not terrible, if it leads you to do better.
If it leaves you with a black hole inside your heart that is swallowing all your self esteem…well, don’t let it do that.
And One Last Thought
When you first start in comedy it’s not the worst idea to learn the basics, which is semi universal to all comedians. But the truth is, we’re all on our own journey with all of this. So as you progress, you’ll start discovering your experience is different then mine, and all your other comedy friends.
Your comedy isn’t for everybody, and that’s okay.
As you start learning your unique voice, style, and path, you may start seeing that some of the doors you really hoped would open for you simply aren’t.
Maybe you’re in a scene that just doesn’t seem to mesh with your style. Maybe it becomes clear that your home club isn’t looking for what you’re putting on the table. Maybe you keep asking and the answer always is “No”.
If this happens, in my experience, you have three options.
1. Keep shooting your shot. (Usually, not a bad option)
2. Give Up. (Usually a bad option)
3. Create Your Own Opportunities. (Another good option!)
Remember comedy is a CREATIVE ART, so please by all means, GET CREATIVE with how you succeed. Can’t get booked on any of the local shows? Start your own show!
Can’t get booked at the local comedy club? Get in your car and go visit other comedy clubs.
Feel like you are an alien in the room of comedians? Go start another room of comedians.
There is a whole world out full of people looking to laugh and it’s up to you to figure out how to connect what you do as a comedian to what everyone else needs. I know so many comedians that weren’t appealing to clubs, or weren’t booked by other comics, who then went on to create something spectacular and now they’re working their niche and absolutely killing it.
But if you are to busy feeling sorry for yourself, comparing yourself to everyone else, and being a sore loser…You’ll never get up and do that.
The second rule of comedy that I teach my standup students is, “Rule #2: Comedy isn’t fair.”
There is no justice, there is no “right way” there is no “if you do this…this will happen.” We’re all just figuring it out and doing our best. Nobody owes you anything, and what’s true for one comedian is not necessarily true for you.
Sorry, but if you want to succeed in the business of comedy, you’ll have to get over that sad truth.
So my closing thought is this. Remember to have fun, and that your comedy isn’t for everyone…and that’s okay! So go out and figure out who your comedy IS for, and entertain them!
