Comedy Is Not Therapy

Comedy Is Not Therapy

“Well, comedy is cheaper then therapy so here I am!”

“Comedy’s my therapy”

“Comedy’s like free therapy”

Have you heard one of these lines before? I have, and typically it’s from a newer open micer who has recently discovered the expression found through standup comedy. We have a wonderful show in Nashville based off the sentiment that Comedy is “Cheaper then Therapy” but catchy names and slogans aside, make no mistake.

Comedy IS NOT Therapy.

Comedy IS expression. It can be sharing your truth, and bringing humor from pain. All of that is good, but there is an aspect of professional health that comes from therapy that you cannot get from comedy.

As a comedian, we tell jokes and people laugh…unless you are telling your “therapy” to a room full of psychiatrists, you likely will not have a professional yell back a diagnosis after a standup set. Your “comedy therapy” will not end with new knowledge of how to overcome your trauma or issues, and you will be no better for it.

So just a reminder, seek professional help if you need it. And I hate to be a downer but the kind of people that typically get into standup comedy are also folks that usually could benefit from some degree of therapy. What can I say, normal “put together” people typically don’t have the desire to get up in front of strangers and make them laugh in exchange for some form of approval. (Object if you want, but you know I’m not wrong)

Don’t get me wrong, I think the self expression that comes with doing standup comedy is one of the most beautiful gifts and one of my most favorite aspect of life…but as a comedian with over a decade of experience benefiting from the “free therapy” of standup comedy…I want to take a moment a few things that all comedians should watch out for regarding mental health in standup comedy.

Is this a problem for everyone? Probably not. But it is common enough that I think it’s worth at least one blog entry because mental health is incredibly important, and comedians are not known for being amazing at taking care of themselves mentally or emotionally.

In addition to comedy not being legitimate therapy for those that need it, here are also some things you need to watch out for regarding your mental health if your a comedian.

Where are these jokes coming from?

Perhaps you have heard that happy people make for lousy comedians. The idea is that crowds don’t want you to get up there and brag about your happy marriage, your great kids, your incredibly huge bank account, and all the wonderful things in your life. They want to feel better then you, and laugh at the things about you that you are giving them permission to laugh about, by saying it on stage. This isn’t 100% true, but it’s not 100% wrong either. It really depends on the comedian, so I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.

That being said, a lot of us do find jokes in the issues in our lives. When I first started comedy my joke writing strategy was to pick one thing I didn’t like about myself every week and make fun of it, writing jokes about myself that I felt comfortable sharing on the stage. I hated making fun of other people but have never had a problem crapping on myself for laughs. What i found out was the more self conscious I was about the issues, probably, the funnier it was.

People have called me gay for all my life because of my high voice and sensitivity, so naturally I wrote jokes about it. Because I was stepping on thoughts the audience was having about me, the jokes took off and have been majorly successful.

On one hand, It’s kind of empowering to take control over something negative others have put in my life. How cool is it that I was bullied for years about my high voice and now people are literally calling me, asking to perform at their venue, and specifically requesting those jokes? I’m getting paid for the same thing I used to get bullied for…it’s like I have taken ownership over that pain.

But, those are old jokes…before I claimed ownership of the pain, I was bringing the pain back to the forefront of my thoughts to make jokes about it. And being teased for a high voice is far from the most painful thing I have dealt with, and I am sure you have been through worse too. This year I began the process of making jokes about my father who emotionally abused myself and my whole family, and a situation with a former student who I couldn’t help escape from a very toxic home situation. Sure, I lighten up the bits and make it funnyfor athe u
Perhaps you have heard that happy people make for lousy comedians. The idea is that crowds don’t want you to get up there and brag about your happy marriage, your great kids, your incredibly huge bank account, and all the wonderful things in your life. They want to feel better then you, and laugh at the things about you that you are giving them permission to laugh about, by saying it on stage. This isn’t 100% true, but it’s not 100% wrong either. It really depends on the comedian, so I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.

That being said, a lot of us do find jokes in the issues in our lives. When I first started comedy my joke writing strategy was to pick one thing I didn’t like about myself every week and make fun of it, writing jokes about myself that I felt comfortable sharing on the stage. I hated making fun of other people but have never had a problem crapping on myself for laughs. What i found out was the more self conscious I was about the issues, probably, the funnier it was.

People have called me gay for all my life because of my high voice and sensitivity, so naturally I wrote jokes about it. Because I was stepping on thoughts the audience was having about me, the jokes took off and have been majorly successful.

On one hand, It’s kind of empowering to take control over something negative others have put in my life. How cool is it that I was bullied for years about my high voice and now people are literally calling me, asking to perform at their venue, and specifically requesting those jokes? I’m getting paid for the same thing I used to get bullied for…it’s like I have taken ownership over that pain.

But, those are old jokes…before I claimed ownership of the pain, I was bringing the pain back to the forefront of my thoughts to make jokes about it. And being teased for a high voice is far from the most painful thing I have dealt with, and I am sure you have been through worse too. This year I began the process of making jokes about my father who emotionally abused myself and my whole family, and a situation with a former student who I couldn’t help escape from a very toxic home situation. Sure, I lighten up the bits and make it funny for the audience, but I still had to recall the truth behind the joke….and that can be heavy.

What might seem like therapy on stage can actually you bringing up some unresolved issues that you are itching to justify or take ownership over to help you grow as a person…I get that, and it’s important in your healing process to do that (and let’s be honest, it will likely make for some pretty unique, authentic, and funny material!) BUT be mindful of what kind of toll it takes on you emotionally.

What helps me is to slowly work on those bits and not let myself become totally engulfed in the negativity. And, if you need to talk to someone about any of the issues that doing comedy brings up…please go talk to a paid professional and not just an innocent audience.

They may laugh at your funny jokes, but that laughter isn’t going to heal the damage that is still there after the audience leaves.

Perhaps you have heard that happy people make for lousy comedians. The idea is that crowds don’t want you to get up there and brag about your happy marriage, your great kids, your incredibly huge bank account, and all the wonderful things in your life. They want to feel better then you, and laugh at the things about you that you are giving them permission to laugh about, by saying it on stage. This isn’t 100% true, but it’s not 100% wrong either. It really depends on the comedian, so I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.

That being said, a lot of us do find jokes in the issues in our lives. When I first started comedy my joke writing strategy was to pick one thing I didn’t like about myself every week and make fun of it, writing jokes about myself that I felt comfortable sharing on the stage. I hated making fun of other people but have never had a problem crapping on myself for laughs. What i found out was the more self conscious I was about the issues, probably, the funnier it was.

People have called me gay for all my life because of my high voice and sensitivity, so naturally I wrote jokes about it. Because I was stepping on thoughts the audience was having about me, the jokes took off and have been majorly successful.

On one hand, It’s kind of empowering to take control over something negative others have put in my life. How cool is it that I was bullied for years about my high voice and now people are literally calling me, asking to perform at their venue, and specifically requesting those jokes? I’m getting paid for the same thing I used to get bullied for…it’s like I have taken ownership over that pain.

But, those are old jokes…before I claimed ownership of the pain, I was bringing the pain back to the forefront of my thoughts to make jokes about it. And being teased for a high voice is far from the most painful thing I have dealt with, and I am sure you have been through worse too. This year I began the process of making jokes about my father who emotionally abused myself and my whole family, and a situation with a former student who I couldn’t help escape from a very toxic home situation. Sure, I lighten up the bits and make it funnyfor athe u
Perhaps you have heard that happy people make for lousy comedians. The idea is that crowds don’t want you to get up there and brag about your happy marriage, your great kids, your incredibly huge bank account, and all the wonderful things in your life. They want to feel better then you, and laugh at the things about you that you are giving them permission to laugh about, by saying it on stage. This isn’t 100% true, but it’s not 100% wrong either. It really depends on the comedian, so I’ll let you figure it out for yourself.

That being said, a lot of us do find jokes in the issues in our lives. When I first started comedy my joke writing strategy was to pick one thing I didn’t like about myself every week and make fun of it, writing jokes about myself that I felt comfortable sharing on the stage. I hated making fun of other people but have never had a problem crapping on myself for laughs. What i found out was the more self conscious I was about the issues, probably, the funnier it was.

People have called me gay for all my life because of my high voice and sensitivity, so naturally I wrote jokes about it. Because I was stepping on thoughts the audience was having about me, the jokes took off and have been majorly successful.

On one hand, It’s kind of empowering to take control over something negative others have put in my life. How cool is it that I was bullied for years about my high voice and now people are literally calling me, asking to perform at their venue, and specifically requesting those jokes? I’m getting paid for the same thing I used to get bullied for…it’s like I have taken ownership over that pain.

But, those are old jokes…before I claimed ownership of the pain, I was bringing the pain back to the forefront of my thoughts to make jokes about it. And being teased for a high voice is far from the most painful thing I have dealt with, and I am sure you have been through worse too. This year I began the process of making jokes about my father who emotionally abused myself and my whole family, and a situation with a former student who I couldn’t help escape from a very toxic home situation. Sure, I lighten up the bits and make it funny for the audience, but I still had to recall the truth behind the joke….and that can be heavy.

What might seem like therapy on stage can actually you bringing up some unresolved issues that you are itching to justify or take ownership over to help you grow as a person…I get that, and it’s important in your healing process to do that (and let’s be honest, it will likely make for some pretty unique, authentic, and funny material!) BUT be mindful of what kind of toll it takes on you emotionally.

What helps me is to slowly work on those bits and not let myself become totally engulfed in the negativity. And, if you need to talk to someone about any of the issues that doing comedy brings up…please go talk to a paid professional and not just an innocent audience.

They may laugh at your funny jokes, but that laughter isn’t going to heal the damage that is still there after the audience leaves.

By the way, if left unchecked, this is how comics become addicted to laughter and performing. We aren’t feeling our pain when we are bringing joy to crowds but…they have to go home eventually and then we get to hang out with nobody except our own thoughts. And that’s why a lot of comics can’t wait to perform every night,…so just be careful with that!

Comics are just way too positive of a people

Seriously, have you met a more encouraging and happy bunch then an open mic room full of comedians? We are all just big bright rays of sunshine, right!?!

Um…maybe not so much, and that’s fine. I don’t mind the fact that a lot of comics aren’t all bubbles and smiles, because many comics are not afraid to bring authentic truth to the crappiness of the world as we see it, and poke fun at the ugly parts of life, raising awareness to things that could be better…or making the less pleasant things a bit more bearable for the rest of us, with a good joke.

Especially if you are a new comic looking for as much stage time as possible, you will likely be hitting as many open mics as possible in your local indie scene. That means a lot of dark rooms full of mostly comedians with alcohol and people talking about a myriad of depressing topics…laughing optional, but not encouraged.

It can get depressing! One night, not so bad, and at least you had your 5 minutes of diphone with your set. But then one night turns to two nights, turns to three, turns to a whole week…and then before you know it you are going most days a month hearing all the most depressing “jokes” as comics are working out there sets, and one month becomes three…and suddenly you are wondering why you are more depressed then usual.

All that negativity adds up, and if left unchecked, it can take a big toll on you.

A couple tips to avoid this.

First of all, have a life outside of comedy. Be intentional about having friends outside of comedy that you hang out with. And, for the love of God and your friends, when you hang out with them, don’t talk about your comedy.

Also, have an intentional day or two where you AREN’T out working on comedy at open mics. Better yet, replace those days with something that is intentionally positive to cancel out the negative vibes you have endure at a traditional open mic. What works for me is having movie nights with friends, eating out, staying in by myself honestly, and going to church. These all fill the positivity tank, and open mic comedy (which is where I go to work on my craft) depletes it, but that’s fine because I am intentional about refilling it.


Seriously, have you met a more encouraging and happy bunch then an open mic room full of comedians? We are all just big bright rays of sunshine, right!?!

Um…maybe not so much, and that’s fine. I don’t mind the fact that a lot of comics aren’t all bubbles and smiles, because many comics are not afraid to bring authentic truth to the crappiness of the world as we see it, and poke fun at the ugly parts of life, raising awareness to things that could be better…or making the less pleasant things a bit more bearable for the rest of us, with a good joke.

Especially if you are a new comic looking for as much stage time as possible, you will likely be hitting as many open mics as possible in your local indie scene. That means a lot of dark rooms full of mostly comedians with alcohol and people talking about a myriad of depressing topics…laughing optional, but not encouraged.

It can get depressing! One night, not so bad, and at least you had your 5 minutes of diphone with your set. But then one night turns to two nights, turns to three, turns to a whole week…and then before you know it you are going most days a month hearing all the most depressing “jokes” as comics are working out there sets, and one month becomes three…and suddenly you are wondering why you are more depressed then usual.

All that negativity adds up, and if left unchecked, it can take a big toll on you.

A couple tips to avoid this.

First of all, have a life outside of comedy. Be intentional about having friends outside of comedy that you hang out with. And, for the love of God and your friends, when you hang out with them, don’t talk about your comedy.

Also, have an intentional day or two where you AREN’T out working on comedy at open mics. Better yet, replace those days with something that is intentionally positive to cancel out the negative vibes you have endure at a traditional open mic. What works for me is having movie nights with friends, eating out, staying in by myself honestly, and going to church. These all fill the positivity tank, and open mic comedy (which is where I go to work on my craft) depletes it, but that’s fine because I am intentional about refilling it.

Here is why this is important…

Maybe you think I am being overdramatic. Honestly, I had that same thought as I have been writing this. But here’s the undeniable truth.

So many comedians are current or recovering addicts.

And so many comics take their own lives.

There is a lot of research out there about how mentally unstable comedians tend to be (If you don’t believe me, look it up or better yet…just ask a comedian)

What’s going on and how can we make it better for each other?

I am glad that as a society we are caring about mental health more, and I think comics and entertainers need to get on that boat and stop allowing the industry and pursuit of a comedy career (or side hustle, or just strong passion) to be as toxic as it is for many of us.

We can do better, but it has to be an intentional decision every day.

Maybe it’s just me? Maybe you have a completely different opinion. Or maybe you have had a similar experience? Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, or experiences in the comment section below! Or not…Either way, have a great day!